A third-generation undertaker's guide

Buying a burial without paying for a promise.

The casket, the vault, the plot and the stone. What each one really does, what nobody is required to buy, and the questions that save a family thousands.

Why a "sealer" casket protects the casket, not the person
The vault rule that isn't a law, and what the cemetery will accept instead
What's free for veterans, and the forms to file now
A cemetery phone script and a fill-in burial wishes page

Get Laid to Rest · $24

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Laid to Rest by Frank Tidwell, book cover with an ink drawing of a live oak over a small Georgia churchyard

Why I wrote it down

The funeral home is only half the bill

I'm Frank. My granddaddy opened our family funeral home in a little Georgia town in 1931. My daddy ran it after him, and I ran it for thirty-eight years before I retired.

Here's what most families find out too late. The funeral home has to give you a price list and let you bring your own casket. Those are federal rules. But the cemetery is a different business, with a different bill, and much of what it sells sits outside those rules: the plot, the vault, the opening of the grave, the stone, the fee for setting the stone.

And on my channel I talk about graves that were opened again, years later. I've been there for my share of them. So I know what a "protective" casket and a "sealed" vault are worth once they're in the ground, and it isn't what the family paid for.

This book is what I'd tell my own family. None of it is about being cheap. It's about paying for what you actually want, and not for a promise nobody can keep.

— Frank

Who it's for

Three kinds of people buy this book

You, planning ahead

You want to choose your own plot and stone, write it down once, and know nobody will sell your family a sealer on your account.

A veteran's family

A national cemetery covers the grave, the opening and closing, the liner and the headstone. Chapter 9 shows what to file now so nobody pays for what's already earned.

A family this week

If someone has just died, Chapter 15 is one page of sentences to say at the funeral home and the cemetery, and what to bring.

Chapter 1 · The workbook

Twenty minutes with a pencil

A family that isn't guessing doesn't get talked into things. The book opens with the page that settles it.

Where I want to be buried: the cemetery, the plot number, and where the deed is kept.
What goes in the ground: the casket, the outer container, the most you'd want spent.
The stone: flat or upright, the words on it, and who to buy it from.
Things I do NOT want: the line that lets your family say no without feeling guilty.

From the graveside

Things families are told that cost them money

"This casket will protect her."

A gasket is built to slow water and rust. The FTC forbids any funeral provider from claiming a casket preserves a body, and I've seen why.

"The law requires a vault."

No state law we know of does. The cemetery may require a container to keep the lawn level, and a plain grave liner usually satisfies it.

"You have to buy the headstone from us."

You can almost always buy from a monument company. Some states limit the fee for setting it: Georgia caps it at $125, and Florida bans it.

"A mausoleum keeps them safe and dry."

Building codes require each crypt to have a pressure-relief vent. Put a sealed casket in one, and you'll understand why.

Sixteen short chapters, and every rule and price is sourced and dated so you can check it yourself.

The math

Where the money goes

Published figures from the book: national medians, consumer-group estimates and real cemetery price lists.

A vault, when the cemetery would accept a plain liner (national median)	$1,695
What a rubber gasket can add to a casket's price, by one consumer group's estimate	$800+
One city cemetery's extra charge to bury on a Saturday instead of a weekday	$730
One cemetery's fee to set a headstone bought elsewhere (Georgia caps it at $125)	$550
VA burial and plot allowance a non-service-connected veteran's family can claim	up to $2,064

These are ceilings, not promises. Your prices will differ, and the book shows you how to find your own. But skipping one vault you didn't need covers this book many times over.

What's inside

Sixteen short chapters and a workbook

1Fill this in first: my burial wishes
2Two businesses, two bills
3The gasket: what "sealer" and "protective" really mean
4Choosing a casket without paying for a promise
5Vault or liner: the cemetery's rule, not the law
6The plot: buying it, owning it, selling it
7Opening, closing, and the cemetery's other fees
8The headstone
9Veterans: what the country already paid for
10The mausoleum
11Burial on your own land
12Green burial, and the plainest burial there is
13Moving a grave
14Make the calls: the cemetery phone script
15On one page: the sentences that save money
16A word from the kitchen table

Laid to Rest

Know what you're buying

$24

One payment · instant PDF download

The full guide, 26 printable pages
Burial wishes form, ready to fill in by hand
Cemetery phone script and three-cemetery price sheet
The veterans' benefits and the forms to file
Free updated editions when VA or price figures change
7-day money-back guarantee

Get Laid to Rest — $24

Checkout and download are handled securely by Gumroad. Not for you? Reply to your receipt within 7 days for a full refund.

Questions

Is it a printed book?

It's a PDF you download straight after paying. Print it at home or at any copy shop. The forms are made to be filled in by hand.

Does it apply where I live?

It's written for the United States. The federal Funeral Rule covers funeral homes everywhere; cemeteries are mostly governed by state law, and the book says where states differ. Check your own state on anything that matters.

Is this legal advice?

No. It's general information drawn from the FTC, the VA, Social Security, state law and published price lists, each named in the text.

I'm planning a cremation. Is it for me?

Only partly. This book is about burial: the casket, the vault, the plot and the stone. If you'd also like to bury or inter the ashes, the cemetery chapters still apply.

What if it isn't for me?

You're covered by a 7-day money-back guarantee. Reply to your receipt email within 7 days of buying and you'll get a full refund.

What happens when prices or benefits change?

VA amounts change every October, and price figures move too. When they do, the corrected edition is sent to you at no extra charge.

Who is Frank Tidwell?

Frank is the presenter of the Frank Tidwell YouTube channel. His funeral-home stories are composites, and every rule, price and figure in the book comes from the public sources named in it, so you can check them yourself.